Progressive Regression

Progressive (adjective) - going forward or onward; making progress toward better conditions.

Regression (noun) - the act of going back to a previous place or states; return or reversion.

Thus, progressive regression... would seem to be quite the oxymoron.

But is it, really?

Whilst having a nice long, hot, shower, my thoughts were all over the place, as they usually are. Thinking about innovative new technology (I'm the first to admit I'm a bit of a geek), I came to several conclusions.

The first of these is that we have some incredibly cool technology these days. I mean, really, some epically awesome stuff.

But the second conclusion I came to, and the one that I'm going to focus on in this blog (as much as I'd love to go on about each and every one of the latest and greatest gadgets on the market), is that technology, and our understanding of how it works, is changing so rapidly that we can barely keep up with it. Only 10 years ago, half the stuff out there on the shelves would have seemed like impossibilities! Now, let's zoom out a little, and look at a slightly bigger time-line. First, a couple of my favourite quotes, just for the heck of it.

"Computers in the future may weigh no more than 1.5 tons." - Popular Mechanics, 1949

"I think there is a world market for maybe five computers." - Thomas Watson, chairman of IBM, 1943

More than 60 years later (which, relative to history in it's entirety, is not a long time), some households have five computers in them, with hundreds of millions of computers all around the world, half of which weight no more than 1.5 kg! These quotes go to show that back in the 1940s, there was a set idea of what computers were like at the time, and they had what they thought was a very accurate opinion of the future that was in store for computers. Oh, and the world's fist general purpose computer (several acres wide), if rebuilt with the same specifications today, would be the size of a pin-head!

The limitations on what we could do with technology nowadays are far wider and further away than they used to be. As technology advanced, so did the limits. We're getting further and further ahead, yet we are not actually getting any closer to the ultimate, the maximum, the point which we cannot surpass. Why? There are no limits.

Not everyone is as geeky as I am, though. So let's look at it from a different angle.

Knowledge. We live in what has been called the Information Age. The human race has never known as much stuff as we do today. We've never had such easy, quick, access to anything we need to know. You want to find out something, Google it. Google has all the answers.

Or, does it? The more we know, the more we find out and discover, the more questions arise to do with such knowledge. Human beings have never had as many questions before as we do today. You see, one piece of new knowledge and understanding brings with it a thousand new questions. The closer we get to knowing everything there is to know, the further away we get from answering and solving all the questions we have. The limitations of things that there are to know about Earth and everything in and around it just keeps on growing the more we figure stuff out.

It's like numbers. I love numbers! But that's not the point. Numbers are just going to be used to demonstrate this idea. There is a never ending supply of numbers. There are absolutely no limits on the biggest number possible. It's what we call infinity. Some things can be counted, but numbers cannot, contrary to what you may have been told all your life. 1, 2, 3... the limit in your mind may currently be one trillion and three. 4, 5,6... it's now one trillion and six. Think of the biggest possible number you can think of. Is that the limit? If you think so, try this.

Double it. You now have a number twice the size that you thought two seconds ago was the biggest number there was. Double it again. Triple it. It's now six times bigger than just moments ago, eight times bigger than originally. Times it by one million! It just keeps getting bigger. There simply doesn't seem to be an end to all these numbers!

That's because there isn't. There are no limits.

You see, limitations are purely relative. Relative to what? You may ask. The point where you currently stand, I'd answer. In reality, there are no limits. They're merely the furthest thing away from your present position that you could possibly imagine. Step forward a few steps, and you can suddenly see a few steps further ahead than a moment before. As you move, so do the limits, so do the boundaries.

It's what I like to call progressive regression. A semi-accurate term for us never getting any closer to the end of the realm of possibilities.

Go for it.

Reinventing Mindsets, Altering Perspectives

I'm sure you've all heard that your attitude towards something will define not only whether or not you enjoy it, but also the outcome itself. Right? Right.

Some of you know me well, some not so much, some not at all. As much as I hate to admit this (though a lot of you already know it), I can be very negative when it comes to doing things I don't want to do. I also complain a lot, as my wonderful girlfriend Ali tells me way too often.

The effect of this is obvious when it comes to doing those things I don't want to do. How? I consistently go into these situations with a bad attitude and outlook, and thus no matter how good it could turn out to be, it never will, because I'm expecting it to be bad and all I do is complain about it, thus making me automatically see everything in a bad light. Because of this, I always come out of it having had a bad experience. This of course means that next time I will be thinking along the same lines. On and on this vicious cycle goes, like a sucking vortex, a bottomless pit.

Needless to say, things could be better. A lot better.

Let's take school, for example. I neither like nor enjoy three out of my five subjects. Crunching the numbers I find that about 43% of time at school is spent in subjects I strongly dislike. That's purely inside the 6 periods a day, 5 days a week, spent at school. Dump homework on top of that, and you get about 5-6 hours of home time down the drain on boredom, too. Add in the assignments and you find that in excess of 100 hours throughout the year will be spent on major home assignments from just those three detestable subjects.

That's a lot of boredom.

So I'm setting myself a challenge. I'm going to test out the whole "attitude effecting...stuff" saying and see what happens. Watch this space.

From tomorrow morning onwards I'm going to try my hardest to approach each and every subject and period from a different perspective. Throw out the negativity and pessimism and look at things in a new light. No more--or, at least, less--complaints. This won't just apply to school, I'll try and do it for everything. All going well, things should start looking a lot better.

So, here I go. Off on what could be a very difficult journey.

Starting tomorrow morning with double Physics.

Aberrant Distress

I've been worrying a lot lately about a whole range of different things, for different reasons. It may seem quite reasonable to worry about such things, but when you stop and think about it, does it actually make any sense?

Worry. It's completely pointless. It achieves absolutely nothing. Really, the only thing that worry does is waste energy, waste emotions and make things worse.

So then, why do we do it? It's normal, natural, to worry about things. But just because something happens naturally does not make it right.

If you think about it, most of the things you worry about are completely out of your control. Not all the time, but more often than not. Sometimes you can't do anything about a situation; all you can do is worry. But why would you? Is that not simply a waste of energy? If you can't do anything about something then there is no point in worrying.

Sit back. Relax. Don't distress. Just do what you can and leave it at that. At the end of the day, you can only do what you can do, and then move on. Let's forget the worry. That's never solved anything.

Inspirational Ambitions

Tick, tock. Tick, tock.

The clock moves on, the calendar flips over, time goes by.

157 days till exams.

171 days till it's all over.

So little time, so much to do.

With all that, you'd assume I'd have my head down, working away, trying to do my best this year.

Yeah, right. It's not that easy.

There's wanting to do your best, and then there's actually being motivated and doing your best.

I'm the former.

Motivation.

Inspiration.

Goals.

Ambitions.

I have a lot of plans. A lot of goals. A lot of dreams.

As I like to say, most things cost a lot of money (something that I don't have much of). But, dreams are free. So that's what I do. I dream.

But these dreams will never become a reality. Never. Not un

less I actually aim for them, do my best and work t

owards them day in, day out, even if it involves something I really don't want to do. Such as Physics, for example. Now, this may not be a vital subject to my goals, however the general knowledge of it can't help, and the credits certainly c

ould. Everything counts. Everything. Even if you don't see it now.

I'm an avid procrastinator, as anyone who reads this blog (as few of you as there may be) know well. I'm working on it; I'm getting better. Slightly

. It's a long, slow, journey--a work in progress. Add to this mix the fact that I don't enjoy half the subjects I take this year, and that one of them is by correspondence and thus is even easier to put aside than the others, and you end up with... not a heck of a lot.

Procrastination + Boredom and lack of interest = Not a heck of a lot

There's another, good, side to me, though. I never miss deadlines (honestly). I thrive for achievements (proof: Mafia Wars). Goals are excellent motivation for me. If you add these to the mix...

(Bad stuff) + Goals and Deadlines = Ambitions Achieved + Unimaginable things

The bad stuff is no match for my goals and deadlines. Who knows what could happen when these are in place? Self discipline and motivation will, one day, pay off with all sorts of things you could never dream of now. You don't see it? Trust me. One day you will.

When I started the year I was somewhat motivated with a fresh start, new ideas and hopes and dreams. Then it slowly died down. I started procrastinating more and putting things aside. To put it plainly, I just couldn't be bothered. I was lazy.

Then I got a wake up call a couple of weeks ago, and I'm back on track. I set goals, and suddenly I'm focusing and making progress again. It's a heavy workload this year compared to last year. But if I keep at it, slowly chipping away at all the assignments and homework, I'll get there in the end.

Goals are wonderful things. I know that they sure do a lot for my motivation. Set them for yourself, try them out, see if they can do the same for you.

I have a lot of dreams. A lot of ambitions.

There's a heck of a lot to do before I can possibly achieve them. Years of study and hard work. But when I finally get there, it will have all been worth it. Short term goals to get through the year's work, and long term goals for what I want to ultimately achieve. Both will help. Put in the hard yards now and it will pay off.

For now, 171 days and counting.

In which stuff changes rather dramatically

It's all quite random, really. How things can change so quickly and oh so dramatically.

One day it was this, the next it was the other thing.

One day I wanted one thing, the next day I don't.

One day Calculus was interesting, the next... okay, bad example. Calculus is always interesting.

But you get the point. Things can change so very fast, and it doesn't always sake mense.

We know that already. Now, what's your point?

My point? Calculus is my point. I do love that subject.

How exactly can Calculus be your point? You may ask.

Well if you keep quiet and listen, then maybe I'll be able to tell you! Don't be hasty.

You see, a year ago I had no idea what the heck I was going to do with myself after high school. I had many different options, but never knew quite what it was I wanted to do for the rest of my life. It's no easy choice.

Then I decided on Software Engineering. And that was that.

Now I think I may become a teacher.

Say what? Come again?

Yup, you heard me right. A teacher. Not just any teacher, however. Oh, no. Not a primary teacher. And not an intermediate teacher either, heck no.

Where exactly did this come from?

I have no idea, to be completely honest. I was just sitting Calculus a few days ago, minding my own business when WHAM! it hit my like a brick. Completely unexpected. It would be quite fun to teach Calculus, I thought. Year 12 Mathematics wouldn't be bad, either. Then again, Secondary Mathematics in general could be pretty fun. I do like maths. I would have to be able to teach at least two subjects, though... Accounting isn't a bad subject, either.

What more can I say? The idea grew from there.

It's still growing on me. The more I think about it, the more my mind shifts from software engineering to maths teacher. Absurd, many may say. Why the heck would you take teaching over software engineering? That's just crazy!

Well, crazy as it may be, I'm liking it more every day. It seems like a good idea to me.

Apple's Chance to Win Me Over

I know, I know. This blog is long since due. I know what you're thinking. If I was going to post a blog about this particular subject it should have been done several weeks ago, in the few days following it's release. Oh well. You'll get over it. So what if I'm posting my opinions two weeks after the initial hype is over? Sue me.

The subject I want to discuss is Apple's new iPad. I have several things to say about it, but I started this post almost three weeks ago, and as such they aren't as fresh in my memory as they once were. Bear with me.

You've no doubt heard about the iPad already. If you haven't, you most likely either live in a hole, are completely out of the loop or just do not care about technology in any way, shape or form. Or maybe you've heard of it but still don't really know what it is, exactly, or don't know how it differs from the iPod. If you're in any of these categories, here's a good video clip with the answer to all the questions of life. (Well, not quite. But it explains the iPad.)

Hmm... Let's rephrase that. I had a video clip to show you, but it has disappeared from YouTube due to copyright claims from Apple Inc, or something along those lines. However, do not fear, for I have found it on Apple's website. Head over to the following link to watch it, then be sure to come back here!

http://www.apple.com/ipad/#video (note that you will need Quick Time to watch it)

Anyway, onwards this blog must go! To be different, I'll start with my conclusion.

The Apple iPad failed to live up to it's claims, particularly the much repeated claim of being "the best way to browse the web". I agree that it could potentially be the best way, but as of yet it's not. No way.

Why? You may ask. What did they do wrong?

It's not so much what they did. It's more what they didn't do.

Problem #1: No flash support. How the heck can you not have support for flash? A large portion of websites today use flash of some sort, either just for navigation, or for the entire site. Games, too. Many, many, games are designed using flash. Yet there is no support for this in the iPad? That make no sense whatsoever. How can it be "the best way to browse the web" if it cannot browse a huge selection of websites?

Problem #2: No camera. Say what? No webcam in the iPad? No video chat, obviously. Already you need your PC to use Skype or Mac to use iChat. That's another reason you'll still need to keep your laptop nearby so that you can use the web to it's full potential. Need I again question the claim of "the best way to browse the web"?

Problem #3: No multi-tasking. HUH? Come again? If you're replying to an email and need to check something on a webpage, you'll need to first save that email, close out of the email application, open up the browser, look up what you needed. Then close the browser, open email, retrieve the email you were writing from the drafts and continue writing. What an effort! If you're one of those people who do a lot of things at once, such as emailing and browsing and sorting photos all at the same time... the iPad will drive you insane. Because you can't. One at a time, sorry. You've got all the time in the world to dispose of by doing things one. at. a. time. on the iPad. Slowly does it! I mean, seriously?! What's with that?

Those are the main issues I have with the iPad so far. And I haven't even seen or touched one. If there are such big issues as these without actually using an iPad, what unseen problems are there?

Of course, there are a lot of really cool features on there that I would love to try out. Such as the eBook software and shop. The photo albums. The tablet functions in general. I have to admit, it looks good. But they failed in my eyes. Once again, Apple just doesn't live up to expectations. Some are saying they left out these features on purpose.

Why would they do that?

It's simple. Money. Release the iPad, everyone buys it. Add in the features purposefully left out in the first version, release the iPad 2.0, everyone buys that one, too, to replace the first one (as it has better features). Apple make double the money. They're certainly not stupid, I have to admit.

Though that is the one thing that I like very much about this brand new release. For once, Apple aren't outrageously overpricing this state-of-the-art technology like they usually do. An iPad can be initially bought off-the-shelf at just US$499 (approx. NZ$716), which sounds expensive, but for brand new Apple technology that does all that and more, it's cheap. Trust me.

But they aren't getting double the money out of me. There's no way I'm spending any money on the first version of the iPad when it falls far short. If version 2.0 incorporates all the above -mentioned features and more, then maybe, just maybe, Apple might have a decent shot at winning me over. And that's no small feat, for those who know me. (I'm a hard-out anti-Apple fanatic.)

Of course, I've also caught wind of rumours about Google's project in-the-making. The Chrome OS tablet...

The Vitality and Necessity to Extirpate Impediments

That's a lot of big words. My favourite being the latter two. They're pretty cool, don't you think? Of course, a lot of people may not know what they mean. That's what Dictionary.com is for. I'm not doing all the work for you, this time.

Okay... so maybe I will. I'm not good at making people work to figure out what my blog is about--it'll probably make them abandon the blog altogether.

Extirpate (verb) - to remove or destroy totally; do away with; exterminate.
Impediment (noun) - obstruction; hindrance; obstacle.

So, what impediment are we extirpating? You may ask. Well, if you stop asking questions and read, then you'll find out soon enough, won't you?

The exam results for 2009 finally came out just over a week ago. I got pretty good marks. I'm happy with them. However, to be able to get into the course I want to do at Uni from next year onwards, I need them to be just a little bit higher.

That can't be too hard, can it?

Technically, no, all I would need is one or two standards to be just a tiny bit better, at the next level of achievement. But of course, I'm doing Year 13 this year. That means everything becomes harder again. I struggled with a couple of subjects in Year 12, so to get the same and higher marks for year 13 is going to be pretty freakin' hard. Next to impossible if I carry on like I did last year, and the year before, and the year before that...

You see, I'm an avid procrastinator. In the extreme. I've managed to get by so far, but I don't just need good, or even great marks this year. I need excellent. The best I can possibly get. The higher they are, the more likely I am to get accepted into the course. That will require a lot of hard work and studying. And it will also require me to apply myself throughout the year, in every part of every subject, without procrastination.

That's easier said than done.

As noted in a previous blog post, procrastination is a stupid idea. A very stupid idea indeed. There is no way on earth I will ever get results at a high enough level in the coming year if I don't do away with it.

I know, I know, you've heard all this before. I've said that it will end a million times. I've tried a million and one. But I have to, this year. It is of utmost importance. This year is the most vital year of my education by far, and I need to achieve beyond my best.

I have a deadly impediment. It's commonly referred to as procrastination. It must be extirpated, destroyed, at all costs, if I want to get into my chosen course. Which I do, I might add. Very much.

School starts back next week. I'm going to work harder than I've ever worked before. I'll keep you updated right here, at the contradoxymoron.

'till next time.

2010: Let's try it again.

Friday the 1st of January 2010, 12:01AM.

2009 has come and gone.

Welcome to the year 2010.

I know for many of us this is a very big year. More than enough change to go around. For me it is probably the most vital year of my life so far: My future depends on it. This is the deciding year for University and everything else that follows.

With a big year and big change must come with something else. I'm sure you can guess what's coming next.

Big resolutions.

That's right, I'm trying it again. Last year failed miserably, so I think I'm going to make some minor changes to my clever plan.

Firstly, I'm going to make them slightly more realistic. Let's face it: Last year's ones weren't so achievable. Some of them were, but not all of them together. So this year they'll be more realistic, more reasonable. And if they turn out to be too easy, we can always re-evaluate later in the year.

Also, there's going to be less of them. I mean, 9? Come on. That's crazy. How's a guy supposed to be able to make that much change in but 365.25 days? Unless they're stupidly simple, it's very improbable. Let's make it five. Just five. Three general, one writing, one random. (Yes, it is very necessary to have a random one. I can't live without randomness!)

Two of the resolutions from '09 that...didn't happen...I'm going to bring forward to this year. The others will either be adapted or brand new.

Without further ado, here they are.

2010 New Year Resolutions

General
-Get a job
-Get my restricted license
-Be more adventurous, by doing something out of my comfort zone at least once a month

Writing
-Write at least 25,000 words on one of my WIPs

Random
-Complete a Wasgij


Now, I must be off! So much to do, so little time in which to do it!

Resolute or Ir-so?

I don't actually think that title sakes any mense. It was supposed to be clever and catching.

Didn't work. Failed miserably.

Just like my new year resolutions for 2009.


Out of the eight resolutions I made, about one and a half, or possible three-quarters, succeeded.

Let's review them, shall we?

Those that I followed through with:
-Solve a Rubiks Cube: I did a pretty good job on this one, I reckon. Got myself a $3 Rubik's cube from the 2 dollar shop, solved it. I can do it in less than 5 minutes easily.

Those that I semi-followed through with:
-Spend less time on the computer everyday: Kinda. I go through stages. Overall, though, I can spend less time on the computer if need be. It all depends on how much there is to do on Facebook.
-Vary the genres of my short stories, so as to stretch and improve my writing skills: The few short stories I have managed to write this year have been of quite different genres/styles. I didn't write many, though.

Those that failed miserably:
-Get a job: Tried...Kinda. I left the trying till near the end of the year, though...didn't particularly help anything. But I did try. A lot. I'm still trying, even. It's just that nothing has come up yet. I got another rejection letter just a couple of hours ago.
-Start playing a sport again and keep fit during the off-season: Yeah nah. Didn't happen.
-Plan, write, edit, rewrite, edit & edit one short story per month: About 2 or 3... Almost 12, right?
-Complete the first draft of at least one WIP: Far from.
-Complete a wasgij puzzle: Never got around to acquiring one let alone starting or finishing it.

So there you have it. Fail with a capital F.

One resolution remains. The "ultimate" one.

Become a better person than I am now, by being more of a friend and being "there" for my friends when they need me, changing my attitude towards others and life in general, being more patient with people, friends and most of all family, and reaching out to those who need a hand, friend, shoulder, or whatever it is they need, or finding someone who can give that. Also spend more time with God, and have a deeper relationship with him.

I guess I can't really answer for that one, can I? It's really up to everyone else. My friends. Have I, or have I not?

And there we have it. 2009 is almost over. Time has run out.

Therefore the answer to the question, I'm sure you've already guessed, is Ir-so. Very much Irresolute.

I confess, though, I didn't try very hard. Maybe next year.

Truthful Lies

I was thinking earlier about what I should blog about today, and I remembered something my pastor mentioned in a sermon a couple of weeks ago. It's been bothering me since.

One of the comments he made was something along the lines of "...everything the devil says is a lie. So really when he says something you know the complete opposite is the truth." Those are not his words exactly, but it's the general idea.

Most people would just agree with that, as it seems true, and is in fact true in most cases, which is why I think it passed unnoticed. It wasn't a planned comment, just something he said in passing.

I don't think I agree with that entirely, however. Recently having memorised stuff for my exams, the quotes for English are still well and truly stuck in my mind. One of these quotes, from the director's commentary for Breach, came to mind not long after my pastor said this.

"The most convincing lies are always rooted in some kind of truth."

This was applied to a particular piece of dialogue from the movie. I reckon that it is very true. In fact, I believe the same can be applied to the devil and his lies. The most convincing, most believable lies spoken by the devil will have just enough truth in them so that you don't realise that it's anything but true until it's almost too late. He's had thousands of years of experience--more than enough to be able to fool us humans any day. We're quite a gullible species, really.

So instead of just saying that everything is a straight lie (even the devil recognises some truths), we need to be discerning and able to separate the truth from the lies. Not just in this case, either. In everyday life it is the same.

How many times have you been fooled by a truthful veneer over a big fat lie? I know I have countless times.