The Return from the Future

Greetings to all!

Life has come back to The Contradictory Paradoxical Oxymoron at last. It has been a quiet few weeks, I know. I failed to keep to my "at least one blog a week" policy. Oh, the shame...

There's a good explanation, though.

You see, about a month ago, the government approached me with a top secret mission, the details of which I cannot expose to you. The gist of it, however, was for me to be sent to the future using their discreetly developed time machine (located in a hidden dungeon several stories below the Beehive) so that I could use my advanced skills and knowledge to save our beloved country from a terrorist attack so extreme that the country [would have] disappeared without a trace, to the depths of the ocean.

Uh...oops. I just told you everything. Oh well, too late now. I'll just get my contacts to change my identity after I've finished with this.

Anyway, as I was saying... All went well, the world was saved, and it was time to come home. However, one of the technically inept morons hired by the government as a Time Technician stuffed up during the initial programming and I was sent back here, about three weeks ahead of when I left. As a result, you unlucky people have had to miss out on these life changing blogs of mine. (Blame the government.)

But never fear, for this post marks the resurrection of the weekly blog. You may all stop panicking now. I have also been told that I must make up for those missed blogs. In the week ahead, I shall do just that.

Watch this space.